i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
