i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
