Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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