i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She is in my trunk
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
