If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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