bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
