Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
