How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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