There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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