so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
