I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
