i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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