She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
