That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize