Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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