it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
