i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
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