You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
