Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
