yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
