like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
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