WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
