my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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