office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
