he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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