I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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