DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
