What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
