Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
