Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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