fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
