if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
did i just pee glitter
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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