The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
