the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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