My first STD was from a foam party
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
