All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
