So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize