the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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