Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
