I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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