"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
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I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
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If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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