am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
