is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
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So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
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First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
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