She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
