if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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