she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
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I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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