dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize