He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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