In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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