Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
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