The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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