Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize