I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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