I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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