Define "chronic" masturbator.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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