Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
