Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
