I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
When are your genitals available?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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